loove

these are text messages i have recently received from my bestest friend, sarah

- the man sitting behind me on the bus is blatantly clipping his fingernails. i am wondering how anyone could be so careless with their dna. perhaps he is infertile and hence leaves a trail of nail clippings behind him wherever he goes in the hope that someone might find them and clone him, thus continuing his (impolite) genetic legacy.

- i am now contemplating what would happen if i was to somehow switch the mechanism of the nearby automatic doors so that instead of being closed and opening when people walk up, they would stay open and then violently shut and spontaneously attack them. omnomnom. i think that would make passing the time a far more enjoyable experience :)

- [in reply to a message in which i said the guy next to me on the bus smelled like taco seasoning] was he extra hot? because that's ok. but if he was only just mild or medium spicy it's a little creepy.

- I just accidently set my waste paper basket on fire. now there is a globular bin-shaped lump on my floor and cinders in the bathtub.


LOVE